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Size Doesn’t Matter!
Holmfirth Festival 20th June
I could have slept all day.
A 1000ft push combined with a high energy show and four pints of Timothy Taylor’s can have that effect.
My desire to remain in my pit was compounded by the fact that my bed was big and soft and the view through the windows to the valley opposite immense.
Plus we had drizzle.
My temptation to whip the duvet over my ear and snuggle in was finally overcome and after a warm shower I pulled on my vagabond uniform and made my way down for breakfast.
Lesley has good bread!
We feasted on a crusty crunchy cob with home made jams all washed down with a pot of Yorkshire tea and we shared a lovely morning thank you!
Later Steve very kindly whipped us to the top of Upperthong Lane to collector Dolly and after a coffee with the Lorain the Landlady and pub owner Eddy we waved goodbye to The Royal Oak and pushed uphill to our next gig, an afternoon show to be performed at Netherthong Primary.
It seemed rather odd to be be pushing a long way up hill from Upperthong to a performance at Netherthong but in true Wilkinson fashion we were rewarded at the very top with spectacular views.
From our vantage point a cute bench at the tip of Wolfstone Heights we looked down upon The Royal Oak last nights venue and deeper down into Holmfirth itself. We could see farmers in the distance working the land, small whips of smoke rising here and there, grandparents pushing their children around in buggies and the odd car making its way along far distant roads.
The early morning rain had given way as soon as we had pushed Dolly out of the pub and it wasn’t long before we were pushing down hill singing choruses of that classic Gus Elen number If It Wasn’t For The Houses In Between.
After a few miles of roller coasting roads we finally arrived at our school and were invited into the staff room for more tea and a nice sit down.
The gable end staff room wall featured a massive window with ever expanding views. Curiously the rain clouds had again gathered and almost the second we were inside the heavens opened and sheets of rain fell. I am begging to believe Maxims suggestion that we carry a magical umbrella that will stave off the rain as long as we have it with us
So far after nearly two weeks of vagabonding it remains unopened.
Make sure to have a look at Maxims blogs if your passing.
At the stroke of midday we were taken into the hall and treated to a school dinner. After having our fingernails inspected for any muck we were given home made beef burgers, chips n beans. I had of course been dreaming of custard. A bowl of macaroons at Laduree in Paris would be alright and everything but as nothing compared with the apple crumble and creme anglaise and Netherthong Primary.
We ate well. So well in fact that we were presented with a special badge telling us how well we had done. Barbara Cartland would be proud.
After dinner our audience gathered and we performed to the children. Telling them stories and singing songs. A lovely session that extended well after the bell and into playtime. At the end of the show many hands went up attached to curious children who wanted to know more about Dolly and our adventures. The last question was “Will you come back again sometime?” Oh yes. We will work for custard!!!
Incredibly the rain had lifted moments before and we pushed off making our way to Wooldale Community Centre for the evenings performance.
We were given a most welcome pot of tea by a lady who had recognised us from the local paper and we sat and chatted in her garden for a short while before the final push.
Arriving in the hall we set up for the show, wrote our blogs and picnicked. Perfectly on cue and once we were inside the rain began to fall.
We then performed to a small but perfectly formed audience. The festival was tonight also hosting the famous comedian Mark Thomas so our event was fringe in every way. Some people later asked is it difficult to perform to small audiences. Not at all. Us Vagabonds are as happy performing to twenty people as twenty thousand, each and every audience as welcome and precious as the next. Each show deserves and receives our utmost attention and energy and as a result audience and performers shared a fine evening together.
Size isn’t important.
After the show we packed and left Dolly for the night and were whisked into town to watch some of the other festival events. We had a chat with Mr Thomas in the bar after his show and thankfully it went very well for him despite us steeling a few rows of his audience to our own performance.
Good quality bar snacks at the central venue too! An entire platter of delicious pork pies and fine selection of beers.
Holmfirth Festival know how to do it!
Upperthong and down again
Upperthong Holmfirth Festival June 19th
Here we go.
Despite countless performances at festivals and events this is our very first ever tramp outside our home county of Cumbria and what a place to start.
Holmfirth is a glorious Yorkshire town which is of course the backdrop for the worlds longest running comedy program Last Of The Summer Wine.
Shortly after arriving we breakfasted in Sid’s Cafe famous the world over as the starting point for the calamitous adventures for Foggy, Compo and Clegg.
We took a press photo session to launch our week of performances and also made a short film with the town cryer to publicise this and future events for The Holmfirth Festival who are our promotors for this weeks adventures.
After coffee and a fat sausage bap it was time to move onwards ….. and upwards.
And upwards.
Holmfirth is beautiful and a grand example of how us humans can blend perfectly with nature. Yorkshire does this very well. Stone buildings jut and stick out at all angles along its many valleys and dales yet they all seem to fit perfectly together. Smoke curls from distant weavers cottages, dry stone walls bulge as trees and fields try to shunt their confines and reclaim the meandering roads and along the way curious folk stop and enquire “What’s in the box lads?”
Perfect!
After our photo call we pushed our Dolly up the sharp rise that leads to the foot of Upperthong Lane. Here we were introduced to the lovely people who are very kindly hosting us for the duration of the festival. Lesley and Steve Sykes are friends of the Holmfirth Festival and have a beautiful house with sweeping views of the valley. We enjoyed coffee with them in their garden before unloading our personals and looking up the mount towards Upperthong itself.
Our goal The Royal Oak a pub standing 1000ft above us and the venue for tonight’s performance.
Having already conquered the mighty Irton Pike a few weeks earlier we were confident in our ability to tramp to the top and so began another shunt.
The hill was long with steep angles flanked by pretty cottages and large ex mill owners houses. Also new estate designed sympathetically to merge into the landscape. Soon enough we were joined by various school kids also trudging slowly home after a day of lessons.
We have but one rule that ensures we will always make it to the top. Take your time. As long as we stop before we need to then surely we will alway prevail and eventually arrive.
We stopped many times. Once outside the local church where met two blokes visiting from New Zealand who had traveled from a family holiday in Wales to visit the locations featured in The television comedy. We didn’t know but we had just walked past the resting place of Bill Owen. A fellow showman and star of the show.
Later we paused for another breather and were offered cold drinks by a family arriving home from work. We drank, chatted and soon enough we were joined by neighbours all keen to know what was in our box.
We handed everybody in the growing group a festival brochure, thanked our pit crew and invited them to join us at the evenings show.
Arriving at The Royal Oak was a joy.
A vibrant pub well supported by the locals many of which were sat in the sunshine enjoying pre dinner drinks. Our landlady Lorraine welcomed us with icy chilled lemonade and showed us around. We set our Dolly out in front of the fire and as the Royal is a wet pub were driven off to another nearby pub for a meal.

What’s great pub! Can’t wait to visit again. If you do visit ask the landlady to do the trick with the maltezer.
Our audience gathered and before long the pub was packed. Eventually we had standing room only. We were overjoyed that most of the people we had met on the push uphill had arrived to see the show and our audience had a lovely mix of regulars, local families, festival goers and fellow professionals who live in Yorkshire who had traveled to view. Street theatre artists, puppeteers and musicians were all present and our show was very well received. Our applause at the end rang for an overwhelmingly long time and later as we packed down we spent a good few hours in fine company with a few pints of Landlord.
Two things stand out for me.
One was the moment I realised I was about to display my marionette manipulation in front of one of the country’s finest puppeteers. (Who later told me I had a done a fine job Phew!) But the winning moment was shortly into the second half. A group of drinkers arrived during our interval and as they had not been present during the first set were laughing and bantering at the far end of the bar. However Maxim swiftly wooed them with one of our more intermit routines and before long you could hear a pin drop and we held the audience until the end.
Three things actually. If you do find yourself in Upperthong at the Royal Oak ask the landlady to show you her trick with the maltezer.
Amazing!
Later still we were given a lift back down to our house courtesy of Smiley Smacko a local Pierrot clown and his fiancé Lounging Lynda, where I quickly fell into bed satisfied with a fine days vagabonding.
This was another practically perfect day in yet more glorious sunshine. Thank you to everybody who walked a 1000ft to see our show.